Confessions of a (Former) Landlord

I wanted you to feel awkward about bringing in a broker, like you’d be betraying a friend. I wanted you confident you knew the market as well as I did. You didn’t.

When you focused on the “little stuff,” I happily gave ground, winning on the big stuff. When your neighbor used a broker and crushed me for my best terms, I locked their deal in an NDA so you’d never know.

I told you there was “plenty of time” because my leverage grew every day we crept closer to your expiration date. I dropped your rent a little, knowing you forgot to reset the base year. I threw in a small allowance but it was structured so the code compliance bill landed in your lap. I gave you expansion rights on space that was already vacant, worth exactly nothing.

Do I feel bad? A little…maybe. But hey, it was your choice to negotiate without a broker.   Sure, you’re paying 30% above market.  But you won’t learn about that until well after the documents are signed, sealed, and delivered.  If I had to guess, you’ll put this lease in a drawer, lock it, and throw away the key.   

I won’t be around much for a while.  But don’t worry, like clockwork, I’ll be back just as your new lease approaches expiration.  You know, the usual, golf, tickets to games, etc.